I just made my mobile email signature ‘sent from my snowmobile device.’ Am I a fool to believe I’m the first person to think up that gem?
— Those who astutely follow both my personal life and Shit My Dad Doesn’t Say will notice a strong overlap. (via shitmydaddoesntsay)

Because if this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn’t help the poor, either we’ve got to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we’ve got to acknowledge that he commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition…and then admit that we just don’t want to do it.
— Stephen Colbert, from this clip.