here is a true story about me.
once in college i was feeling “down” so i decided to do something to cheer myself up. i wanted to give myself a daily reminder of something that never failed to bring me joy. somehow i arrived at the following conclusion: i would get a calvin and hobbes tattoo.
i couldn’t decide on which panel to get, so i settled on two. one of calvin and hobbes hugging (coincidentally the one in the center of the tattoo shown here) and one in which calvin and hobbes are looking at a crack in the sidewalk and contemplating the fleeting nature of life. to top it all off, i decided that i wanted to get them in a place that wouldn’t be obvious to the rest of the world. so, naturally, i decided on my upper thighs.
i scheduled an appointment at chameleon tattoo in cambridge, massachusetts. i paid a fifty dollar deposit. on the day of i arrived. i gave the photocopied panels i wanted to the person at the counter. i waited. i was brought back to a chair. the tattoo artist arrived in the room with my photocopies, explained to me that he would have to enlarge them slightly, and then asked where i wanted them. i said my upper thighs. he laughed and said that there was “no way in hell” that he or any “guy” tattoo artist in the state would give me a tattoo there. he recommended a “girl” tattoo artist in providence, rhode island who might do it. and with that he walked out of the room.i got my deposit back at the front counter and left.
i’ve since shared this story with people who know more about tattoo culture than me and most people seem to indicate that they guy was a weirdo for not doing it where i asked and most places would have no problem doing it there and people have had far more unusual tattoo requests.
in conclusion, i was about a hair’s length away from having two calvin and hobbes panels tattooed permanently on my body. in a universe only slightly different from this one, i have those tattoos.
boy am i grateful for that macho jerk who was weirded out by my upper thighs.