New rule: if you can look at a crime where everything points to one answer and not see it, you’re a dumbass. And if you can look at the deficit and not see that the problem is that the rich stopped paying taxes, you’re a Republican.

And before you accuse me of equating the Casey Anthony verdict with Republican thinking, save your breath: I am. …I’m saying that if you’re a working-class American who still votes Republican, then you don’t get to bitch about that verdict.

In his press conference last week, President Obama said maybe, just maybe, is that the billionaires were, quote, ‘enjoying the lowest tax rate since before I was born.’ Yeah, like we believe Obama was ‘born.’

Now here’s Obama’s thinking — and it’s a little counterintuitive, but try to follow it: when Clinton was president, the rich paid a little more taxes, and the government had money. Then Bush cut all those taxes, and now we don’t. I know it’s hard to grasp — it involves (beat) subtracting.

But in suggesting that, in these desperate times, we slightly raise the tax on private jets, Obama was baiting the Republicans to look like extremists by defending private jets. But the gambit failed! Because half the people are not outraged. Half of them say ‘I’m with the party that cuts all these programs for real people, for the 99 percent — Planned Parenthood; environmental protection; college; healthcare; infrastructure — but holds the line on private jets! Voting for them (the Republicans) is as stupid as voting ‘not guilty’ for the mom who lost her baby for a month and went looking at a wet t-shirt contest.

Every election, roughly half the population votes Democrat, and the other half votes Republican, and I understand why Republicans… get the (vote of the) richest one percent (of the population): the other 49 percent, someone will have to explain to me.

The facts about what the Republicans have done to the middle class are beyond reasonable doubt. And yet, their base refuses to see it. The moneyed elite in America are dragging a bag filled with your future down the steps, and your reaction is ‘Hold on there! That looks heavy! Let me give you a hand getting it into your trunk!’

Is it really that radical to suggest slightly trimming the tax break on corporate jets? It seems like a reasonable idea given that a) people who buy corporate jets are filthy rich, and b) I don’t need a ‘B’!

This is a country of the rich, by the rich, for the rich, where very day it seems our laws and culture cater more to wealthy people: tax breaks, industry-written laws, bailouts, deregulation — all of it goes to making the lives of the rich just a little bit cushier. Oh, did I say ‘rich’? I meant ‘job creators.’

That’s actually a prevailing theory on the right: that Obama’s rhetoric toward Wall Street has been so hostile, it has created an ‘uncertainty in the business community.’ Because he called them ‘fat cats’ once, and they’re still suffering from some sort of jobs-creating disorder. Like he burst into the bathroom while they were trying to pee, and now they can’t go at all!

When did the business community in America become so sensitive that we have to treat them like some sort of rare, exotic animal — don’t startle them, or they’ll fly away! We need to soothe them so they can nest here and lay their magic eggs full of jobs! Which never hatch, by the way.

Bush said his tax cuts for the rich would create jobs: they didn’t. We’re now being told if multinational corporations bring home their current overseas profits of $1.4 trillion, they’ll only be taxed five percent on it — because we’re told it will create jobs.

It won’t, just like it didn’t the last time we tried it in 2004: companies took the savings and paid it out to themselves in dividends. Yes, Republican base: you are just like that (Casey Anthony) jury — it is pathetically clear who is killing the middle class, but you keep letting them get away with murder.

BILL MAHER, in an epic rant likening the Republican base to the Casey Anthony jury, on Real Time (via inothernews)